Abenomics

Definition of Abenomics*: Four score minus five score equals negative economic prosperity for island nation.

Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, apparently not a wizard at mathematics, implemented a bold approach to bring Japan out of its multi-decade economic malaise. But someone should have informed him that if one’s prime interest rate is negative, one doesn’t make any money on a loan.

Frank “Fast Fingers” Falluci, owner/proprietor of PeyDey Loans offered this advice, “Hey, I’m no economic expert. I mean I don’t have a diploma from some fancy-schmancy university, but I can tell you this: if you loan somebody money, and the vig is negative, you’re a freakin’ idiot. That means I would be paying you to borrow my money…what kinda sense does that make? No offense, but I think the Japanese need to get a new economic advisor…I’m happy to do it for the right price, plus a little sumthin’ sumthin’ on the side.”

*Actual definition of Abenomics: Nickname for the ‘3-Arrow’ economic policies implemented under Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. A combination of increasing government spending, boosting money supply, and implementing reflation.