Bitcoin or Roulette: Which has Better Odds?

November 7, 2018

Boston, MA

In a ground-breaking study, a group of MIT students led by Professor Hiram McSwain has concluded an 6-month comparative analysis on the merits of ‘investing’ in the crypto-currency versus going all-in on black. The report notes that, “On any given turn, the odds of the ball landing in one of the eighteen black slots on a roulette wheel is 47.4%; by comparison, over the 6-month term of our study, Bitcoin was up just 43 out of 130 days.” In other words, roulette beat Bitcoin by 14.3%.

When asked by a reporter if there were any metrics that were positive for the cryptocurrency versus the parlor game, McSwain began scanning his data and could be overheard as he read to himself, “Let’s see, timeframe of analysis: January 1 to July 1, 2018, the approximate drop in Bitcoin market value was 53%. Hmm, that’s not good.” Then to the reporter, “To be fair, our study was only for six months, if we back it out to a year from today…,” McSwain checked his data and punched some numbers on his phone’s calculator, “Only down 9.5%, that’s not too bad.”

In a last attempt to soften the blow for Bitcoin enthusiasts, McSwain pointed out, “However, when one considers that a significant number of bitcoins are currently controlled by a small and unknown group of private investors, the potential for market manipulation is significant.” A colleague then leaned over and pointed out that was also a negative factor. “Oh fuck it, put it all on black.”