China’s Xi Adds One Last Item to Trade Agreement

December 3, 2018

buenos aires, argentina

In an eleventh hour addition to the trade agreement currently being hammered out between the United States and China, President Xi Jinping inserted a final point: 1 million MAGA hats to be made in China.

Xi said, “We honor and respect the sentiment of MAGA, and as an important trade partner with the United States, we think it symbolic of this agreement if we would be allowed to share in Making America Great Again.”

President Trump reportedly became suspicious and responded, “I appreciate the sentiment, but there’s no way a MAGA hat will ever say anything other than ‘Made in the USA’ on the tag. You wanna help, buy a million hats from us. That way they won’t fall apart in a year like the cheap knock-offs you’ll make.”

In private talks, an adviser to Xi said, “Perhaps we should not have added this last request, The Orange One (as Trump is referred to by some in China) will surely not back down on this.”

Xi responded, “I sense you are correct, but it was worth a try. It would have been amazing to see the looks on their faces when we sent the hats over with the ‘accidental’ misspelling: Make America Grovel Again.”

As of press time, President Trump was allegedly considering adding a final request of his own: that China be required to buy ten million Mandarins per year from the U.S.